Tea for Three
by angeltrap
Summary: AU: When bounty-hunters Light and L have to protect a scene queen, find a stalker, catch a killer, expose a drug ring and keep all this a secret from their three unexpected quests, it's either party hard or die trying. LightxL MelloxMatt
1. Tripped and Fell Down the Stairs

**Title: **Tea for Three

**Pairing: **LightxL, MelloxMatt, possible others

**Rating:** M for alcohol, drugs and sexual themes

**Genre: **humor, action, romance and crime with the occasional side dish of fluff and angst. Can I register a patent for _flangst_? In seem to mix fluff and angst a lot. xD

**Warnings: **All characters are slightly out of character because of the simple fact that this is AU and they've lived lives that are very different from the ones they did in the original. :D So if you can't deal with a joking, flirting DN cast, go read something else.

**Summary: **AU: When bounty-hunters Light and L have to protect a scene queen, find a stalker, catch a killer, expose a drug ring and keep all this a secret from their three unexpected quests, it's either party hard or die trying. LxL MxM

**A/N: **What? AGAIN? Well, since "I Won't Say" is nearing its end (after what, two years? God I'm so slow...), I figured it was safe(-ish) to start publishing something new. You people have no idea how much unpublished stuff I have on my laptop. Most of them are things I'd love to publish, but I think too big – they're all parts of longer stories that I don't have the time to write ;_; I've been waiting to publish this chapter since Valentines Day...

Be warned that I will be a slllllllow updater. I study. I work. I have a social life, even though you wouldn't always believe it. And unlike L, I sleep. :D When I can.

(Totally unrelated to the story at hand, but if you're a reader of _I Won't Say_, check out my DeviantArt account – I finally managed to draw something for it~ Yeah, shameless attention whoring ends here.)

On with the show!

* * *

Chapter 1

**Tripped and Fell Down the Stairs**

In the beginning, there was a massive headache.

Slowly, very slowly, Light Yagami opened his eyes, only to shut them immediately again. Holy barbeque chips, his head _hurt_... What had he _drunk_? Motor oil mixed with tequila and something dead and rotten? That was what it _tasted_ like, at least...

_Alright_, he told himself, _you can do this. You've dealt with hangovers before. Just get up, get some coffee and ibuprofen in your system, and then you can crawl back to bed to sleep it away. Just get up_...

Showing incredible strength and willpower – luckily, he had always had plenty of both – he managed to steady himself on his feet and open his eyes enough to navigate his way from his room to the kitchen. His vision was still blurry, but he could see the black-haired figure of his flatmate standing in the kitchenette, preparing coffee – oh God, L was an _angel_.

"'Rning," he slurred, pressing his forehead against the cupboard door over the sink and searching blindly the contents of its neighbor. His hand emerged victorious, cradling a clean glass, which he then proceeded to fill with ice cold water. Or at least cold. Or lukewarm, actually, because he was much too thirsty and eager to wash the foul taste from his mouth to wait for the tap water to cool.

After refilling the emptied class he made a beeline to the table and sat down with considerably less grace than usual.

"Good morning," someone said.

In a decidedly female voice.

Light blinked slowly and looked up, and his brain registered another slim, dark-haired figure, shorter than the first one. There were two Ls? Had he drunk himself to death and gone to Heaven?

No, he hadn't, he realized as his gaze dropped by twenty centimeters. This L had breasts.

There was a woman in their apartment, and he had been drinking last night.

"_Shit_!" he gasped, suddenly wide awake and far too sober, jumping up from his chair. The woman recoiled away, startled by his sudden movement, when he turned to shoot a panicking glance at the man in the kitchenette.

_That wasn't L either_!

Light Yagami, a brilliant young law student, the son of a police chief, a man who never lost his cool or ended up in situations he didn't have a plan B, C and X ready for, stared at the two strange people in his apartment (and they stared back quite shamelessly), and then he turned around and fled to his room. There was only one possible explanation: he was still asleep. He would only have to go back to bed, and when he'd wake up -

Unfortunately, his bed was already occupied.

Light froze next to the bedpost, gaping at the dark hair peeking from under the blanket. One more?

Luckily, this one proved to be his one and only flatmate, L Lawliet. For a moment, Light was relieved. Then new questions joined the earlier ones: how on earth was it possible that he hadn't noticed the man when he had gotten up? And, more importantly, why was he in Light's bed, anyway?

"Jesus Christ!" he groaned. "_Please_ tell me we didn't..."

Jesus was apparently either busy or giving him the cold shoulder, so Light was left to swallow, take a deep breath, and yank the covers back, making L awaken with a yelp and curl up into a tighter ball.

The raven-haired man was clothed. And luckily, since he had already paraded in front of two complete strangers, so was Light.

"A very good morning to you too, Light-kun," L grumbled, sitting up and ruffling his already chaotic hair. "You are always so pleasant when you're hungover."

Well, now that the worst panic had subsided, Light was starting to get pretty mad. They had _rules_, dammit! They had made rules so that mornings like this would never happen! Without further explanations he grabbed L's arms, jerked him off the bed and unceremoniously threw the protesting man out of his room.

"Remember the rules we made when we moved in, huh? Think of what could have happened!" he called through the door after slamming it shut behind the other man. "Rule number one, L – we are never to get drunk at the same time!"

"... I didn't drink, Light-kun -" L's reply was slightly muffled by the door.

"Rule number two – when one of us is drunk, the other stays at an arm's length!"

"Light-kun can hardly blame it on me that his bed isn't wide enough. And that staying at an arm's length would have resulted in Light-kun having more unexpected meetings with the pavement..."

"And rule number three," Light continued, ignoring his best friend's protests, "we don't let strange people in!" And he crossed his fingers and prayed to anyone willing to listen that it had been L who had admitted the two in their apartment.

… They were probably listening, too. Damn.

L was silent for a moment, and then he said in a carefully balanced monotone, "Ah, I believe Light-kun is referring to our new next door neighbors who we found in the corridor last night. I also believe that we – yes, we – offered them a place to stay for the rest of the night since Misora-san's purse, and along with it their keys, had been stolen. I gave them my room and offered to sleep on the couch, but Light-kun insisted that I share his bed."

Light froze, then groaned and slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor with his back to it, head in his hands – heck, was his eye swollen? - and headache resurfacing. Yes, he had seen the couple once in the stairs – they had moved in a week ago – but they could hardly blame him for not recognizing them in this state, right? His behavior had been horrible, though, that much he had to admit. He _never_ failed first impressions like this... Oh, this was just _beautiful_.

He stayed like that for a while, trying to will his nausea away, until L was knocking on his door again. With his knee – and Light knew the man far too well to believe that it had been an accident to knock the door right where Light's already sore head was resting against it on the other side...

"Light-kun?" the slightly older man called. "I have a bag of ice for your eye, a cup of coffee, black and bitter, and a sandwich, and I'm running out of hands. Could you please let me in?" After a moment of silence, he corrected his words, "Actually, I already ran out of hands. I'm balancing one of them on top of my head."

For whatever reason, Light's first mental image was L trying to walk with a cup full of steaming coffee on top of the bird nest he called his hair, and he was on his feet and had opened the door before he even realized it.

Behind it, L blinked his wide eyes at him, a cup in one hand, a small plate in another, and a bag of ice draped over his head, flattening his wild hair. "It's melting," he informed calmly, "or at least something very cold is trickling down my spine. It feels quite unpleasant and I still have a limited amount of hands."

"Oh, hint hint," Light scoffed, taking the ice bag and pressing it gingerly against his sore eyebrow. Accepting the coffee and inhaling its sweet, sweet scent he glanced around with his good eye. "Our guests?"

"Gone," L informed him. "They have to call a locksmith to break into their apartment."

"That sucks," Light admitted, taking the ice off to feel his head for a moment. "Heck, no wonder it was pounding like that... What on earth happened? I don't remember drinking more than two beers... And though I admit that I'm not the toughest drinker in Tokyo, I can handle my liquor better than that."

The raven-haired man touched his elbow with his fingertips, guiding him to the couch to sit him down for inspection. "You called me from the bar bathroom at 23:46," he told, skipping straight to business now that their guests were out and they no longer had to pretend to be normal young men, "and said you felt funny and feared that you had been drugged. Apparently they realized you were in our team and they were hoping to take you as a hostage. We were lucky – they thought you were just someone working for us, not one of us. Otherwise..."

"... I'd be dead," Light murmured, moving the ice bag so that it covered his whole face. Right. He had been on an assignment, hadn't he? They were supposed to catch Takeshi Ooi, the rumored leader of a yakuza group called Yotsuba. Unlike most of their undercover assignments, this one had actually come from Light's father, a chief inspector in NPA; because there was no proof of Yotsuba's illegal deeds, the police was powerless, but as a private person, Soichiro Yagami could send the best snatchers in Tokyo – one of which just happened to be his son – to find the needed evidence. "Well, I must say that I've done better..."

L agreed, removed the ice bag from his face before he could consider suffocating himself with it, and, standing behind the couch, proceeded to inspect his head. Light groaned and relaxed as the man's nimble fingers moved gently against his scalp. Though L's caring and tending to his injuries was very mechanical and practical – if life were Star Wars, L could have passed for a medic droid – it didn't stop Light from enjoying it.

It took a while to realize that L had been talking while he had been imagining an army of deadly assassin droids, infiltrating the enemy ship as medic droids and bearing a remarkable resemblance to L. "Sorry, I wasn't listening. Please repeat?"

L blinked slowly, looking vaguely annoyed, before going on to repeat what he had just said. "It took me fifteen minutes to make sure that I had managed to mislead the rest of the Yotsuba men and that they wouldn't notice if I turned back, and ten to get to the Red Apple from Shibuya. By the time I got in, you had left the bathroom. It was extremely lucky that the drug they used reacted as it did with the alcohol you had drunk – instead of passing out quietly so they could just carry you out and pretend to be your friends helping you home, you were acting like you were very drunk. You made new friends and drew a lot of attention, making it very hard for Higuchi and Kida to abduct you without anyone noticing."

The fingers on his scalp withdrew and L moved to stand before him, a small, quirky grin on his lips. "That also made it very easy for me to locate you. You were dancing on the counter when I found you."

_Shit_.

"Stunned you with my dancing skills, I hope?" Light answered with a crooked little smirk to cover his embarrassment.

"Stunned me with the lack of them, but we can blame that on the drug, if Light-kun is willing to demonstrate them to me sometime when he's less intoxicated," L threw back.

"Put the music on and I will," Light was quick to agree, moving to get up and grimacing as his head, ribs and knees reminded him of last night's abuse. "... On second thought, what's good is worth waiting, at least until what's good doesn't feel like he has been overrun by a bus, a couple of elephants, and a thousand of screaming fangirls."

"Oh, because Light-kun knows all about getting overrun by buses and elephants."

"Oh, but Light-kun knows all about fangirls, down to the color of their underwear in the cases that like to throw things on stage." Light grinned again as he felt his head with his fingertips, happy to find out that his eyebrow wasn't so sore and swollen anymore. Whatever was left of the bruise could be covered with his bangs; though he hadn't really been an active performer after his boy band from high school times had disbanded, he still liked to keep his appearance intact at all times.

L stopped mid-movement as he was reaching out to continue the medical inspection, blinking again. "Did Light-kun's female fans actually throw their underwear on stage when his band was still active?" he asked, appearing truly shocked for the first time since they had met. "What on earth did you do with them?" The unvoiced implication _especially_ _since I happen to know you don't swing that way_ was hanging in the air, but L was either saving his voice or believed it was socially appropriate to just imply it instead of actually saying it.

Light picked his most expressionless expression, touched the tip of his index finger to his lips to imitate L's trademark naive innocence, and deadpanned, "I sold them. There are shops that buy ladies' underwear to sell them to old perverts. They are more valuable if they're used, and even more so if I claim they belonged to a foreign woman."

L stared. "That," he said after a while, clearing his throat, "is disgusting."

"This," Light countered, "is Japan. I would have thought that after the years you've lived here you would have gotten used to it. We're the most polite and reserved people in the world; it shouldn't come as a surprise that we are also the creepiest and the most lecherous. We read porn in train, watch it in the lobby of a hotel, and buy used underwear."

His flatmate shook his head slightly, reached out to grab the hem of Light's shirt and promptly pulled it over his head to inspect the damage dealt to his ribs. "Well, I know Light-kun doesn't read porn in train or buy ladies' underwear, so I'm left wondering how the lecherous Japanese genes show in him..." he murmured as he ran his hands across the other man's ribcage, searching for any serious injury.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Light chuckled, trying his best to come up with a slutty smirk and earning an ice bag on his face. "... Do I sense denial?"

"Trust not your senses," L said mock impertinently, "for wrong they may be when sensed through a bag of ice they are."

"My senses tell me, and not through a bag of ice, that I'm blinded, shirtless and enjoying some skin-on-skin contact with the Yoda wannabe who just claimed he's not interested. Denial is best served hot, not cold, so next time you decide to tell me you're not attracted to me, leave the ice out..."

_Aaaaand I'm on tonight, you know my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right_...

"... and please, please, change your ring tone."Light removed the ice from his face and turned to shoot a scalding stare at the silver and blue cell phone lying on the table next to the kitchenette. "That's _so_ last season."

L rolled his eyes (admittedly, it _had_ been Light's brilliant idea to make that his ring tone, and now L was refusing to change it just to annoy the hell out of his flatmate), walked to the table and flipped the phone open. "Yes? … No, Roger, I could see it from the caller ID... There was no reason to greet you by informing you with my name, you already knew who you were call- no, I'm not trying to make you feel old – yes, I understand. Yes, I am. Mhm, yes, he is. What? What do you mean, 'always there'? He _lives_ here. No, Roger, he's _not_ harassing me. Much."

Light snorted, standing up and going to the bathroom to take a look at his reflection. L, although an orphan, didn't exactly come from a poor family; his adopted uncle, Roger, found it very hard to understand that he chose to live in a small apartment (that was actually huge by Japanese standards) with another man, when he could have bought a whole skyscraper practically with his pocket money.

"I'm perfectly fine. They're going well, I'm going to graduate next fall. Of _course_ you're invited – yes, they are, too. How are they? … That sounds just like Mello. Give them my greetings and tell them I miss them... What do you mean, myself? When?"

His face had looked better, but it was nothing that couldn't be fixed with make up and by repositioning his hair, Light mused, staring at the mirror. His ribs, on the other hand, were going to develop a nasty blue bruise – but at least nothing seemed to be broken. Apparently he had dived from the counter when he had seen L making his way through the crowd, but the crowd had narrowly missed the part where it was supposed to catch him.

"_When I pick them up from the airport_? What airport? When? I didn't know they were coming to Japan! No, he didn't. I think I'll call him right now and berate him on that – can't? Why? _In the plane_? When were you going to inform me that they're coming to see me? … Oh, you know very well that's not true, Near never forgets anything, even if Mello and Matt do. How long are they staying? … Really? Can they afford to skip school for that long? … No, I'm not going to teach them. Quillish can. He will be happy to have company... he is? Where? _Hawaii_? But he never takes vacation! … Oh, in that case. But where are the boys going to stay, then? If they're alone at Quillish's place, there will be nothing left of it by the time he comes home..."

Light was pretty sure he heard the mirror crack when L said his next words.

"HERE? But... Roger, that's... we... there are two bedrooms and both are taken! There's no room! One night, yes, but a month, no – what do you mean, no other choice? I'll just book them a room in a hotel! They can't come here – you _promised_? How, and I say this with all possible respect, _how_ did it ever occur to you to promise a three-headed walking natural disaster that it could reside in _my_ apartment, especially when half of it is already taken by someone you don't even _know_? … For _educational purposes_? You can't actually believe that a month in a cramped little apartment with two other men will turn them from problem youths into decent citizens? … I am _not_ using the tone. No – well, yes... no, he is – wait, what – I see. Well, I hope you don't expect to be invited to celebrate my graduation next fall... Bye, Roger."

The call was ended in a decidedly frostier tone than it had begun. Light was peering at his flatmate from the bathroom, already knowing what the man was going to say but still hoping that he had, somehow, misunderstood. He couldn't possibly mean that -

"We're going to have to _share_, Light-kun," L said in monotone. This monotone was the kind that spent all of its spare time beating punching bags into oblivion and throwing televisions through hotel room windows. "Apparently, my favorite cousins are going to... drop by."

* * *

_So, tell me what you think! Bad? Tolerable? Downright awful? Please review, because my fragile self-confidence and semi-fragile inspiration are heavily dependent on your words! _


	2. Keeping Up With the Joneses

_A/N: I'm sorry for having been m.i.a for such a long time. ;_; I hope to get back to updating my fics, but as I've mentioned in the author's notes for some of my stories, my fall wasn't exactly happy, and got even worse towards the end of the year. My spring term doesn't look much brighter, although I did get some of my energy back during the two weeks I spent in Tokyo after Christmas. :3 Anyways, I'm afraid I'll be slower than ever, and I hope you guys can still find it in yourselves to be as understanding and kind as you have always been. I also apologize for not having replied to some of you - I hope you know I adore every single comment you take the time to write, and I'm very grateful for each and every one of your kind words._

_Please review? It would make me insanely happy and boost my inspiration, too._

_Oh yeah, someone asked about the ages of the boys. Light and L are 20-something - I'm guessing 23-25. Mello and Matt are around 19-20, and Near is ~18. :) Technically, this makes Near and Matt underage in Japan, but when has that ever stopped any of the Wammy kids?_

* * *

Chapter 2

**Keeping Up With the Joneses**

Days that started with hangovers rarely ended any better.

This one was certainly showing an inclination to prove the point.

"But why does he insist on talking to us _now_?" Light groaned as he followed L from their Nissan Skyline (or rather, L's Skyline; it would have seemed odd for a regular Japanese student to have a fancy car when you could get everywhere by train, but it was common knowledge that L was a rich kid and, despite his appearance, a bit of a showoff) to the elevator. "He should know pretty damn well that we're hellishly busy right now, with the Cerberus landing within an hour and all, and didn't Roger just say he's not even here? Where was it again? Hawaii?"

Dear _gods_, Christian or Japanese or _Mayan_ for all he cared, how he would have liked to be there as well... Watari had better bring them shiny new gadgets to aid their job if he still wanted Light to keep working for him. And a car of his own would be nice, too. Something that would make L's Skyline look like a tricycle.

"That's what he said, but I believe he's on an assignment, Light-kun, and please do not refer to my cousins as mythological monsters. I'm fairly certain that he's not on Hawaii, and absolutely certain that he's not on vacation. He probably wants to berate us on last night's failure – though I don't know why he insisted that we come to his office when he's presumably out of the country." L flashed his key card, hit the button that read 23 (it was unavailable without the key), and leaned back to the mirrored wall of the elevator as the doors closed. "He wouldn't risk being seen at the office if he's officially not in Japan, would he?"

"Hardly," Light admitted. "Perhaps he left someone to explain things to us. At any rate, it's safer to contact us through his personal channel, rather than call us, and maybe that's the reason."

Quillish Wammy, L's guardian and adopted father and now their employer, was a very powerful man. He had worked as an inventor when he had been young, and many of his inventions were now used for military or espionage purposes; his intelligence was remarkable, and his numerous bank accounts (some of which were used exclusively on charity) under at least a dozen of different names were practically overflowing. In addition to that, he was an excellent cook, a self-learned mechanic, a devoted gardener, and a brilliant sniper, had a black belt in karate and studied Swahili and medical herbs in his spare time. Watari was, in Light's opinion, James Bond plus forty years and a touch of Sherlock Holmes and Gandhi.

Light admitted that though both he and L were over twenty, he still regarded the elderly man with the utmost respect and awe, and he knew that so did L, despite having grown up in his care. In their mind, there was absolutely nothing that Watari couldn't do.

This, of course, included ditching them, telling everyone he had gone to Hawaii, and leaving L and Light to do his job both as snatchers and as role models and caretakers for three young men. Watari was certainly the only person who could do that to them and live to tell the tale, that much was sure.

"Ah, finally!" a new voice greeted them when the elevator doors slid open, letting them into a wide white corridor bathing in golden light. There was a young Japanese man standing on the red carpet covering the marble floor; his hair was longish and curled at the ends, his suit was flawlessly ironed in a way that revealed he had spent hours to make it look like that, and he seemed to have troubles deciding what to do with his restless hands.

"You must be Kira-sama and Ryuzaki-sama!" he said, making it sound like a declaration. "Nice to meet you! My name is Touta Matsuda! I'm your new assistant!"

L and Light blinked and slowly turned to look at each other. _Is excessive use of exclamation marks illegal?_ their eyes asked.

"Nice to meet you, Matsuda-san," Light replied smoothly, smiling and extending his hand to shake Matsuda's. "I'm Kira, and this scarecrow here is Ryuzaki. I don't think Watari said anything about a new assistant...?"

The man didn't strike him as the sharpest crayon in the box, but unlike L, he seemed to have a natural talent for social situations, and he was quick to pick up on the unvoiced question Light had left dangling in the air.

"Ah, I think I was meant to be Watari-san's assistant," he said, grinning nervously and scratching the back of his neck. "But he had to leave unexpectedly before he could brief me in all this stuff... He said he hoped you would teach me something about your job while he's away."

"I see," Light muttered, glancing at L. The raven-haired man shrugged and breezed past Matsuda towards Watari's office. "I'm sorry, but we must be very careful. Do you have any way to prove that you were indeed sent by Watari?"

Matsuda looked crestfallen, and Light felt like he had just kicked a puppy. "Um, no... but he's going to call you in a minute, then he can tell you himself!" he added suddenly, his expression brightening enough to put Light's name in shame.

Light blinked, stunned by the variety of expressions this face could show within two minutes, but fixed it quickly into a warm smile. "That's good. Let's go to the office, then."

Guided by either punctuality or his apparently supernatural senses, Watari was on the line the moment Light had settled down on the other armchair in front of the man's desk, L had kicked off his sneakers and drawn his knees up, and Matsuda had closed the door. The eager assistant-in-training rushed to press the button next to Watari's keyboard and turned the flat screen around so that Light and L could see the video as well.

"_Good morning, boys_," the elderly man greeted them. He was in what looked like a luxurious five star hotel room, pulling on a tuxedo as he nodded at them.

"Good morning, Watari," L and Light replied in unison, glanced at each other and added, with an appropriate amount of shame, "We're sorry for failing last night."

The man was waving a hand with a good-natured smile before they had even finished their sentence. "_Don't worry about it – the Yotsuba case has been postponed for now. You have a new, more urgent case at hand_."

"Mello is urgent, that's true," L mused.

"_Ah, yes. He is, too_." Watari smiled gently and turned to a mirror to fix his tie. "_But I was, actually, referring to another troublesome blonde. There is a damsel in distress_."

"Tokyo will be full of damsels in distress when the source of our distress lands," Light grumbled. He had never met the rest of L's family in real life but he had heard quite enough, and had talked with the demon cousins over the Internet. He knew them as well as anyone could know someone they had never met in real life. "Why is this so urgent? It won't be easy to hide all this from the Hydra -"

"Light-kun, what did I tell you about nicknaming my relatives?"

"Shut up, Gorgon."

"... My gaze does not turn people into stone..."

"_Matsuda-san_," Watari's calm voice interrupted their bickering, "_I can't see you, so I presume you are hiding behind the camera. Please give Kira and Ryuzaki their files concerning the case. If there are any problems, contact me through Matsuda-san_."

Wait – Watari wasn't even going to tell them about this urgent case topped with a distressing dam- no, a damsel in distress himself? And he was telling them they were only allowed to contact him through Touta "I just started today!" Matsuda? Now this was a bit too much, they had to draw a line _somewhere_...

"Excuse me but -" the bounty hunters started, once again in unison, but were effectively silenced by the sight of Watari holstering a Beretta 92G Elite under his tuxedo.

"_Yes_?" the elderly man asked with a serene smile, looking for all the world as if he hadn't just stuffed a gun into his breast pocket. "_I must ask you to hurry; I'm expected at the casino downstairs in five minutes. I have a meeting with a Miss Kiyomi Takada_..."

L and Light blinked at the mention of this infamous criminal lord – or lady – who had narrowly escaped from them six months ago. The woman was not only intelligent and greedy, but extremely well guarded, and the loyalty of her men made her very dangerous.

"I trust that you have a couple of paramedics around, just in case?" L asked rather than stated with a tinge of worry in his otherwise expressionless voice.

"_Oh, I hope Takada-san and her guards will not need their aid_," Watari replied airily, reaching out to his laptop to end the connection. "_I must go now. I wish you the best luck with your new assignment – and the case as well_."

The screen went blank, and silence fell over the three men.

"He has the utmost confidence in himself," L muttered after a while, wiping a hand across his eyes – much the same way as Watari did every time L did something reckless or appeared overly confident. Matsuda nodded quietly, still staring at the screen in awe.

Light shook his head and got up from his armchair, stretching his back and glancing at the grandfather clock decorating the corner behind the desk. Holy Trinity was going to land in twenty minutes, and it would take from forty-five minutes to an hour before they would be ready to leave Narita Airport. Unfortunately, most of those final blessed minutes of peace and silence would have to be used on driving to the airport...

… But come to think of it, how exactly were they going to pile themselves, three boys in their twenties _and _their luggage for a month in L's Skyline? They could manage everything else, but the luggage?

Allowing a sweet, lovable smile to stretch his lips, Light turned to the newest addition to their team. "Hey, Matsuda-san...? Did you come by car?"

* * *

Light had only seen pictures of his partner's adopted cousins (adopted in every way, since no one in their peculiar family was actually related to any other member of it), but even if he hadn't, he had heard enough stories to be able to tell them apart from regular people miles away.

Mello was walking in the middle like a mob boss, a thumb hooked under the studded belt hanging dangerously low on his hips, just like his leather pants – who the hell wore leather pants in bright daylight on a Thursday morning, especially for a long overnight flight, anyway? Who the hell wore leather pants at _all_? The blond's other hand, clad in a black leather glove, was clasped around the handle of a wheeled Luis Vuitton trolley case; his eyes (and half of his face) were covered by wide, dark pink sunglasses, and his rosary swayed from side to side in rhythm with his hips, comped by the steady beat of his combat boots hitting the floor.

The redhead walking next to him had to be Matt, then. The boy was walking in a much more relaxed manner, practically sauntering, yet managing to keep up with his blond friend's pace. He had probably practiced this... Dragging a black Samsonite along, a laptop bag slung over his shoulder, he followed a step and a half behind Mello like a bodyguard.

Dressed more casually in faded, torn jeans, a D&G belt, a striped long-sleeved shirt and a Mouton vest, he could have looked like any normal fashionable young man, if it hadn't been for the orange-tinted goggles covering his eyes; but the goggles were there, screaming "geek" as much as Mello's appearance screamed "gay", and the toothpick jammed tightly between his lips told Light that despite his calm demeanor, Matt was rather nervous – about going abroad or going outdoors in general, he wasn't sure – and was hoping to replace the toothpick with a cigarette as soon as possible.

That left Near, who was trudging some steps behind his adopted brothers, wrapped up in a white coat that fell halfway down to his thighs, and with a practical gray suitcase trailing after him, attached to his thin wrist by a strap. The youngest boy was sweeping the terminal with an disinterested gaze, stopping only shortly when his eyes met Light's. The older man was impressed to see that the white-haired boy could lead his two friends to his direction even while trailing after them and keeping his mouth shut; maybe he had telepathic skills?

"Light Yagami, I presume," Mello droned in fluent Japanese as he stomped to a halt in front of him, eying the taller man from head to toes and back as if to decide whether or not he was worthy of living with his cousin.

"You presume correctly, Mello," Light drawled back, bowing shortly at them. "I hope your flight was comfortable?"

"Endurable," Mello replied, scanning their surroundings from behind the pink glasses. "Did L send you?"

What did that little MySpace celeb think he was, L's _butler_?

"Actually," Light returned smoothly, "I sent _him _to get us some coffee. He's such a darling, always so obedient..." He trailed off, allowing a slow smirk to settle on his lips as he focused his eyes on the half amused, half irritated man standing behind their three guests.

"Light-kun," L chided him, "don't confuse them. They're going to think you're talking about someone else."

The trio whirled around at his voice; Mello opened his mouth to shout in glee, Near's serious face conjured up a little smile, and Matt latched onto one of the two take away coffees L was holding.

"Oh, _coffee_! Thank you, sweet God!" he gasped, downing half of the hot beverage in a few gulps.

"... 'L' will suffice," L murmured, eying the stolen cardboard cup and then turning to blink his wide eyes at Light. "That," he informed his flatmate gravely, "just happened to be yours."

"I figured," Light replied dryly. "If it had been yours, the poor kid would have either spat it out immediately, or fainted from the sugar overdose."

Matt turned to look at him, apparently back in this world now that he had gotten his coffee fill. "Sorry," he said, looking vaguely embarrassed. "Want the rest?"

"No, go ahead," Light smiled, "you probably need it more than I do, anyway." _Even though I'm still hungover_... "I would have L share his with me, but seventy percent of it is sugar, so the amount of coffee wouldn't be of any use even if I could force it down my throat."

L looked a little hurt. "Don't insult me with such approximate numbers, Light-kun – it's at least seventy-three percent sugar, which is the perfect combination of sugar and coffee." He demonstrated the drinkability of his coffee by taking a few sips of it, all the while eying Light intently. "And some caramel syrup," he added.

Near cleared his throat. "Did you come by car?" he hinted.

"Ah, yes," Light was quick to catch on the plot, and started herding them towards the parking lot before they could attract any more attention. After they had piled the boys' luggage in the trunk of Matsuda's sedan (the man had been left at the office, looking after L's Skyline), the younger trio was ushered to the backseat, where Near was unceremoniously squished between the other two who demanded window seats.

"How are we going to be sleeping?" Near asked after Light had started the car, maneuvered out from the parking lot, and proceeded to take them to the highway.

"Horizontally and with your eyes closed, I hope," Light muttered, and then had no one but himself to blame when the image of Mello sleeping upside down, hanging from the ceiling like a bat, popped up in his mind.

"Your arrival was rather unexpected," L said, as if to apologize though his voice was far from apologizing, "so I'm afraid we can't do better than futons and the couch in the living-room."

The silence that seeped from the backseat exceeded any amount of noise the trio would have been able to produce if they had been screaming at the top of their lungs.

"No," Near said in a very decisive tone. "Just no. Mello and Matt need a room. With a door. A thick door, with a lock. And thick walls. Twenty inches thick would do. And no windows. Or at the very least, a room that is _not _the one I sleep in."

"Yeah," Matt agreed, "because we're kinda sleeping together, and Near totally isn't."

"We're totally sleeping together," Mello corrected, "and Near kinda isn't."

"I can almost hear a _yet _at the end of that statement," Light sniggered. "Mello wants it all?" He could have cracked a joke or two more, but didn't dare – yet, at least. The sleeping arrangement – or whatever – between the three seemed to be a little up in the air.

"I'm astonished that neither of you is even feigning shock," Mello said, sounding a little disappointed and deftly ignoring Light's half-question.

"When you've lived with Light-kun for as long as I have, it's going to take more than a little rainbow-colored chit-chat to shock you," L replied levelly.

"Oh, aren't _you_ the innocent one..." Light grumbled.

* * *

After hauling the three guests and their luggage up the stairs and into their apartment, meeting Naomi Misora and Raye Penber briefly in the corridor (Misora was currently on the phone about changing the lock of their door, and Penber just nodded and smiled when Light stopped to apologize for his earlier behavior; he seemed to find it amusing and perhaps even a little endearing that their new neighbors were hard-working law students during day and turned into wild party animals at night.) they left the trio unpacking and making themselves at home to return Matsuda's car.

"Alright," L said as they were waiting for the traffic lights to change, shuffling through the case folder Matsuda had given him while Light drove, "once we've gotten my car and sent Matsuda on his way, I think you should take me straight to Shimbashi train station. That way I should make it in time to meet with Rem-san, the manager of our new customer, at four thirty."

Light nodded and was the first to take off when the light changed. "I just still don't get it. Shimbashi? Why on Earth Shimbashi?"

"Amane-san is fairly famous," L muttered as he focused on the page of Misa Amane's biography. The folder was, in general, a printout of the scene star's official website – excluding the cleverly imbedded lines instructing one, and just one, of them to meet up with the manager at 4:30 pm, dressed "casually but stylishly". This had caused some debate between them; in the end, Light had managed to make him look like any other young man in Tokyo with relatively slight changes, one of them being that he now wore torn jeans two sizes smaller than his usual.

To the curious looks of their guests L had just said that he had been blackmailed into an outing with his co-workers from the store he was supposedly working at, and they had seemed to accept it.

"Well, I guess Rem-san will tell you more," Light shrugged as he turned into the parking garage under the office building. Matsuda was standing in the exact same spot they had left him in, guarding L's Skyline; he was the perfect example of taking one's job way too seriously. Light could easily imagine him growling fiercely at every single person walking past him to warn them off.

After changing cars and promising to contact Matsuda the next day, Light took L to the Shimbashi station and headed home to see what was left of it. They had left the termites alone, after all.

God, was this how parents usually felt when they were forced to leave their children home alone?

Misora and Penber had disappeared from the corridor, and much to his surprise, the trio was lounging rather peacefully in the living-room – Matt was sitting at the small dinner table with his laptop, Near was lying on the floor building a castle of domino pieces, and Mello was sprawled across the couch and watching television.

It had a strangely homely feeling about it, too.

"Yo," Mello greeted him without taking his eyes off the TV screen. "Got L there in time?"

"Yeah, though we had to stop at his workplace to switch cars – the one you saw was borrowed from one of his co-workers." Light blinked at the distinctly feminine moan coming from the TV speakers, and then blinked again when another one followed. "Is that... are you watching _The L Word_?"

"U-huh. Love it. I'd go straight for Shane."

"You're forgetting," Matt piped up in a slightly bitter tone, "that you'd have to straighten her, too." He paused. "Or just get her really, really drunk and dress girly."

"Hey Near, did you hear something?" Mello looked lazily at the white-haired boy. "I thought I heard a jealous little fly bitching at me, but I guess it was just my imagination..."

Near shot him a look that, by nearific standards, was thoroughly exasperated. Light could almost see him mentally roll his eyes. "Please. Leave me out of all this relationship stuff. I never thought I would catch myself saying this, but I actually believe I was happier when you used to chuck books at me, tie my shoelaces together or lock me up in a closet for hours."

Matt grinned. "Well, as you know Mello has reformed his evil ways, so now he has almost twenty years of untying your shoelaces and helping you out of closets to do to repay for all the misery he's put you through."

"I," Near declared dispassionately but determinedly, "am not a dating kind of person, and even if I were, I'm eighty-nine percent certain that I'm straight."

"So is spaghetti until you heat it up," Mello winked. "Anyways," he added, turning around on the couch to look at Light, "how are things going with _your_ L word?"

"Not sure what you mean," Light threw in the naive act as he shrugged off his jacket and hid it in the closet.

"Well, you know. L for our scarecrow of a cousin, O for obsession, V for, uh..."

"Vertical sex," Matt supplied helpfully.

Light stopped halfway to the kitchenette. It was... strange, he thought, to be in the company of people he had just met and realize that you had actually known them for a long time, if only over the Internet. There was no reason to feel insulted by such personal inquiries, because they were already sort of close. These three knew more about his personal life than anyone here, at any rate, excluding L, of course.

"You got it wrong" he said, throwing a carefree smile at the trio over his shoulder. "The word you're looking for is L for my roomie, U for unavailability, S for secret and T for twisted. We agreed on that when we moved in – it'd be really damaging to our friendship -" (Damn, he had almost added '_and job_'! He needed to be more careful...) "and besides, it'd be kind of awkward."

Lust was bad enough – even mere physical attachment to your partner could cloud your judgment and endanger your life – but _love _was downright unthinkable. Things were bound to get ugly when people of their status and job description fell in love.

Sensing the trio exchanging glances behind his back Light sauntered into the kitchenette, fetched a can of iced tea from the fridge and, upon returning to the living-room, was met with the sight of three hands extended expectantly.

"Well? Where's my soda?" Mello demanded, showing uncharacteristic discretion by dropping the subject for now.

"Do you have beer?" Matt asked.

"A glass of milk would be nice," Near added from the floor.

Light stared at them for a moment. "Okay, listen up, germs. We didn't invite you. You are not my guests, and I'm not your servant. In fact, since I guess Roger's paying L to keep you out of his sight for a month, I'm currently your _landlord_. And that means you rich kids are going to have to learn to take the trash, do the dishes, make your beds and, worse still, _get your damn drinks yourselves_."

* * *

_1) Nissan Skyline?_

_I don't know a thing about cars. :D I mean, I can drive one from point A to point B (though it often takes far more time than it should!), but I don't know the first thing about them otherwise. Nissan Skyline is something I spotted in a movie, then googled, and decided it looked nice enough. The only Nissan I've ever driven was a tiny little Micra, and we had to stop in the side of a motorway because it overheated, lol. :D_

_2) Beretta... whatever?_

_My knowledge of weaponry comes from video games. And google._

_3) Shimbashi, Odaiba?_

_Shimbashi is a station on the Yamanote Line that goes in a circle in the center of Tokyo. It connects to Odaiba, an artificial island in front of Tokyo, through a monorail train, Yurikamome. I love Odaiba. XD_

_4) ... The L Word?_

_I could SO go gay for Shane. XDD_

_5) Cerberus, Hydra, Gorgon?_

_All are mythological monsters, the former two with several heads and the last one with a gaze that turns people into stone.  
_

_Please review? :3_


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